Archive for the ‘Paul Tripp’ Category

Saw this on Justin Taylor’s blog earlier this week – it’s influenced this week’s message from the Love and Marriage series (Sunday at 5pm, meeting at Faith Presbyterian Church).

Paul Tripp, What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage (pp. 51-52)

[God’s] grace purposes to expose and free you from your bondage to you. His grace is meant to bring you to the end of yourself so that you willing finally begin to place your identity, your meaning and purpose, and your inner sense of well-being in him.

So he places you in a comprehensive relationship with another flawed person, and he places that relationship right in the middle of a very broken world.

To add to this, he designs circumstances for you that you would have never designed for yourself.

All this is meant to bring you to the end of yourself, because that is where true righteousness begins.

He wants you to give up.

He wants you to abandon your dream.

He wants you to face the futility of trying to manipulate the other person into your service.

He knows there is no life to be found in these things.

What does this practically mean?

It means the trouble that you face in your marriage is not an evidence of the failure of grace.

No, these troubles are grace.

They are tools God uses to pry us out of the stultifying confines of the kingdom of self so that we can be free to luxuriate in the big-sky glories of the kingdom of God.

This means that you and I will never understand our marriages and never be satisfied with them until we understand that marriage is not an end to itself.

No, the reality is that marriage has been designed by God to be a means to an end.

When you make it the end, bad things happen.

But when you begin to understand that it is a means to an end, then you begin to enjoy and see the value in things that you would not have been able to enjoy before.


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From Paul Tripp, What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage, pp. 237–238:

“Your marriage may be good. It may even be great. You may have grown together in appreciation, respect, unity, understanding, and love. You may have learned where problems typically exist for you as a couple, and you may have learned how to solve them together. You may have identified places where you and your marriage need to mature. You may have created a lifestyle of honest communication and efficient problem solving. You may have forged a solid and enjoyable friendship between you. You may be able to look back and be thankful because you recognize what you once were compared to what you are now.

“But there is one thing that you need to accept: your marriage may be great, but it is not safe. No marriage this side of eternity is totally problem protected. No marriage is all that it could be. This side of heaven daily temptations are constant threats to you and your marriage. This side of heaven the spiritual war goes on. This side of heaven good marriages are good marriages because the people in those marriages are committed to doing daily the things that keep their marriages good. Things go wrong when couples think they have reached the point when they can retire from their marital work and chill out, lay back, and slide. Perhaps the greatest danger to a good marriage is a good marriage, because when things are good, we are tempted to give way to feelings of arrival and forsake the attitudes and disciplines that have, by God’s grace, made our marriage what it has become.”

HT: Justin Taylor

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A helpful and practical interview with Paul Tripp on marriage – which he describes as “a flawed person married to a flawed person in a fallen world but with a faithful God.”

Here are the questions asked in the interview:

  • Why do so many people lack a Gospel-centered view of marriage?
  • Did you have this understanding when you got married?
  • So what makes your marriage healthier now?
  • Since marriage is war, why is it worth it?
  • What would you say to someone who is trying to decide whether or not to marry?
  • What would you say to a couple with marital problems?
  • What would you say to a couple with a good marriage?
  • Why must marriage be rooted in worship, not romance?
  • What is the greatest threat to God’s design for marriage?
  • What can we do?
  • Where can someone who is not connected to a church go for help?

If you’re married, this is worth printing out, reading through and discussing with your spouse. If you’re not married and want to be, I hope this will help shape you as you prepare for life as a husband or wife.

(HT: JT)

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